The Relationship Isn’t Working. What would Rihanna do?
How to switch gears like an It Girl
This isn’t my monthly newsletter. Consider this a think piece… more of these to come.
What does an It Girl do when she finds that the relationship she thought might just be the one of her dreams, turns out not to be so? Well, I think the perfect case study to reflect on is “What would Rihanna do?” It doesn’t get more divine feminine for the It Girl than Rih. She’s currently in one of the most stunningly ideal romantic partnerships we’ve ever seen. At least that we can see from the outside looking in. I personally think it’s a lot less about romanticizing love and bringing a lot reflection on what she wanted as an individual. But let’s not forget, before her present day relationship with love, our girl never settled. Let’s take a look at some of the lessons we can take from big Rih’s trail of lost loves.
It started with Breezy. It ended there too.
All of us know that feeling of puppy love. The innocence (or ignorance) of falling so deep for that one that taught you all of the lessons you could never forget. We need not mention the abusive scandal that changed the course of these two young lives. However, we can pull a deep lesson from our It Girl. Once you learn better, DO BETTER. There are many times we trauma bond, attract people in unawareness and can be just plain naive or ignorant. You might even give yourself a little grace if you slip up and look back. And to add, you can even forgive, but baby, don’t you EVA forget. Breezy said:
“When Rihanna and I broke up, that’s when I realized that there are some women you should never underestimate when they truly love you. Once they’re gone you can never win them back no matter how hard you try.
She was my one true love, but I didn't understand her importance until the moment she left me. I did my best to prove that I had changed so that she would accept me back, but she never wanted to listen anymore.
I did therapy, started a foundation to support girls, changed all the habits she didn't like, and became more responsible. I didn't win her back, but I'm glad she taught me that lesson. This made me a better father to my kids. ”
This Girl dated a Billionaire. She couldn’t be bought.
Now I don’t know a whole lot about this relationship. But I remember this era of unapologetic Rihanna. I do know they dated for about 3 years and this was the epitome of “sprinkle sprinkle” before Shera Seven ever came along. The intellectuals call it hypergamy. She seemed to enjoy being entered into a new level of society that we can see she still retains the beauty of. I mean, she too is a billionaire now. One of the biggest lessons I see that we can take here? No relationship “has” to be a complete waste of time. Take what you shared, enjoyed and learned and evolve from there.
Draaaake? She never claimed him. Though he fought for her.
It’s hard to reflect on this particular relationship for Rih. For one, she never claimed it. Drake however, tried very hard to glamorize the intimacy of their connection. So we’ll never know exactly what took place between the two of them, and in my opinion, that’s the way it should be. There’s a level of maturity to be spoken for in keeping your business to yourself, while you explore a connection. It takes a lot more than good intentions to nurture a relationship.
Rocky boxed them all without throwing a punch.
A$ap Rocky has been quoted as saying:
“I graduated from being Rihanna’s best friend for over 10 years, to her baby daddy, and finally the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It feels like I’ve won it all in life because I’ve always wanted her to be my woman but wasn’t confident enough to make a move. I watched her date other men while we were best friends, and they didn’t treat her right. I was so happy when she finally started showing signs that I had a real chance.”
It seems through an authentic friendship & genuinely respecting the woman she’s grown to be, flaws and all, A$ap was able to establish a solid connection. My Dad used to say two things about love “You have to get lucky!” & “You have to really be friends”. When I see these two, they seem to not only love but really appreciate the quirky things in each other that people who actually like each other, do in real life. It doesn’t give performance. It gives real partnership. It helps that she valued & maintained this friendship while dating and that he was confident enough to wait for a clear opportunity.
Last but not least
Rihanna knew what she wanted. She literally manifested it. As a public figure, it had to be challenging to those learn lessons and experience disappointments on the public stage. But she seeing her be loved well and celebrated for all of who she is, is absolutely beautiful. Of course, we never know the ins & outs of anyone’s connection. But who doesn’t love seeing a journey of growth. We adore seeing the process of how a bad bish pushed through! It helps us all when we need a reminder, some inspiration or a pointer or two. So the next time love isn’t meeting your standard, take Rih’s tip of having a solid standard in the first place. Let no love change that. Only let it meet you wherever you are. Remember this video every time you even start to doubt that it’s possible.
If you made it this far, You are not only that Gworl/that Guy! You know how to make it to the finish line. I bet you know how to be consistent too! *wink* So we won’t say goodbye, just Ciao for now. Do me a solid and share this with someone you think could use the confirmation or the reminder. Until next time Fab folks!
Joy